Recent events have got me thinking about that question that most mums have at some stage. And in my case – on an ongoing insane basis. Should I be working or should I be at home? What is the right thing for the kids? What is the right thing for our family? What is the right thing to do for me? So, I stand corrected – it’ actually multiple questions.
Last week I came across this article about Trinny And Susannah (from What Not To Wear fame) and it made me thing – man, even famous, rich people have this problem! It was the same kind of epiphany that I had when I realised that despite having a full time chef, trainer, and shrink – Oprah still can’t lose weight. There is no hope for me (but that is a whole other topic for a whole other time!).
It is another reminder that this question of can you have it all – is indeed a question perplexing all women – rich, poor, successful, fat, thin, I’m not unique. I’ve come to a realisation on why I think this question is so frustrating. So here goes – the women who have this problem are used to being able to solve complex problems everyday at work. They are bloody good at it. They get paid to do it. I get paid to help big brands solve pretty tricky problems. So why can’t I sort out this? Sometimes I think to myself and sit down with a blank piece of paper “Ok – how hard can this be. Lets just have a think about how this could work. We could do day care for DD, after school care for DS and DS and maybe a student to help me 4pm – 7pm. But I would still have to get out of the house by 8am with lunches, uniform on, homework done, school slips signed, fights quelled. And leave work on the dot at 5pm. Arriving home with tired children who are hangry (and so is their mother). Hard at the best of times. And then there is what happens when they are sick, school holidays and other such challenges. So they you go back to the nanny idea. But should I really be the one taking DD to the ballet? Who is toilet training her? Should I be spending time with DS to improve his reading? But actually – I like working so do I really want to leave that behind and lose a little bit of me?” And thats the sideshow happening in my mind. I’m meant to be clever. And I can’t work it out.
Don’t get me wrong – I have a fantastic life and I am so lucky as I truly do have a choice of whether I work. But it does kinda screw with your mind. A lot!